So, I bought this Union Jack hair straightner.
"I was a silly kid in love, but Alice didn’t even talk to me. She hardly cared to give me a single glance in the morning when we rode the same bus. It didn’t matter what I did; I bought her gum, I filled her backpack with pink pencils from the supermarket, and I even shared my lunch with her once. But the only one she ever looked at was Francis. All the girls looked at Francis. He was three years older than the rest of us, he smiled like they do in toothpaste-commercials, and he knew how to chat with girls. In desperation I asked him: “How do you do it? How do you get all the girls?”, and he gave me this wry grin as he said:
“Because I look good.”
So I went out and bought a pair of cheap reading glasses from the mall. I spent all my pocket money on them, but I didn’t think I looked better with them on, rather the whole world turned blurry on me and Alice still didn’t pay me any attention. As I went to ask Francis once again, he just laughed at me. I was eight years old and in love, but I had no clue how the world worked."